"When you really respect the person you’re with, your future is clear," Masini says. When I say attraction matters it has nothing to do with him being a 10 and it’s more about how he treats me mixed with what my personal preferences in looks are. That doesn't mean you have to be the hottest girl I know. Romantic relationships can be a lot of fun! In extreme cases, you'll be too afraid of your partner to even bother arguing. For women, most certainly. Sections of this page. connection, communication, goal setting, and supporting one another. Guys looking to meet women often ask the question, "Do looks matter?" I need to be physically attracted to you. Plenty of guys have found happiness in their dating lives despite their appearance; a handful even lead playboy lifestyles despite being completely out of shape. Physical attraction is very important. Yes, but it’s not a dealbreaker. Jump to. If yes, then everything else comes into play (personality, personal chemistry, intelligence, humor, ect). Well of course, I want good looking babies and tall kids, so I am quite.. superficial in that sense. For men, quite a bit in their younger years and then it kind of tapers off. Character traits like that are attractive in themselves. Press J to jump to the feed. Not being in shape doesn’t mean you can’t get girls. Doesn't mean I don't want to aim high, but what I consider to be high is strongly affected by what kind of person they are. Can you imagine living with a vapid idiot the rest of your life. Who are you more likely to give a chance, the hot girl who is the life of the party, or the slightly overweight dickbutt? The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. Looks are important, but they are a complimentary factor to things like style, confidence, and passion. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Over 20% of women posted photos of their younger selves. Just got out of a relationship, had a cute gf. It's like a wheel on a car. People should obviously be in love and all that to have kids, but there is some level of animal brain that will always be there. VK. Its stupid but it is true. Extremely important, looks are just as important as their personality to me. We clearly live in a society of appearances, where being young and pretty is still one of the main goals in life for many people, but do they actually matter in the long run? I like to think it gives everyone a chance, even the not so good looking people...not to sound mean. Basically this and what you mentioned above OP. I guess the relationship worked in the past btw us because I felt close with her. In … If I'm physically attracted to someone at all, then that's enough - if they happen to be fucking awesome, that makes them inherently much, much more attractive to me anyway. wow can't believe i said that. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. We can be reasonably sure that while looks are significant in a relationship but they are not the most important thing, especially in a long-term relationship. Looks matter to women The study suggests that if a man is considered at least moderately attractive, then his personality matters to women, Fugère said. Do looks matter? They could look average but be great, and I'll think they're the most beautiful person in the world. I like Steven Ussery’s answer. I'm not saying that I will only date smart women with degrees, but they need to be able to maintain a good conversation about different topics. Beauty changes and fades with time, if a relationship is based solely on how appealing your partner looks it is bound to be temporary. Pretty much, Acting their age. Once I've deemed her attractive enough to have a relationship with then the other things like personality and connection come into play. If she isn't pretty enough to make babies with or bang, she's not going to register on my radar to date. Well short answer, yes. But appearance and attraction are different to everyone. The study notes that girls actively sought signs of “status” when judging the man’s clothes, and they liked that look better because it suggested a good provider. Perhaps over time they will matter less as you fall more in love with the person's personality, but if the emotional attraction is to begin the spark of physical attraction must first exist. The start of a new relationship is nearly always one of the most exciting times, as you each explore one another’s hopes, dreams … and bodies. In terms of a relationship, they're equally important. You need good chemistry and rapport and actually liking one another's personalities and trust and communication to build a good relationship, looks aren't directly involved in that process, they just are a prerequisite to it starting. Don't think I've had a single girlfriend who believed me yet. Mix. Don't kill me, but let me explain why. Also being a relationship kind of makes you more desirable (if you are a woman) and with more social skills (if you are a man) generally. But men were only marginally better. After attempting to get back, she said no. Physical attraction is very important to me but it's more of a threshold than a strict hierarchy. My ex, I sometimes didn't want sex, and sometimes I thought about other girls we did it. But it does mean you are making your life unnecessarily difficult. Keep hearing that looks fade, would like the opinions of older redditors about how this statement is actually true. Sex The Secret Reason Why Sex Is So Crucial in Relationships New research on sex in relationships shows the real reason it can benefit yours. Depends how much appearances matter to the people in the relationship. A person really doesn't need to be "good looking" to be sexually attractive to someone, especially once you get to know them deeply as a person. Also probably more common that, if you have a good looking gf, you would want sex more too right? Without it, you actually have nothing. Yep, for me it won't even get close to the relationship stage if the looks aren't good. But there is no getting around the fact that sexual interest starts with finding someone attractive physically. Everyone wants to be with someone they are attracted to but I don't love my wife because she's cute. The initial spark sure, we can all agree on that, but in the long run? If she hits that baseline, everything after that is nice, but really not priority/necessary. A person who is passionate is way more attractive to me, they could be twins and if one is dispassionate and uncaring about their life or has no drive it is a huge turn off. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Posted Jul 04, 2017 I keep myself fit, I'd expect the same from a potential partner. The foundation of a healthy relationship includes: Boundaries: You and your partner are able to find ways to meet each other’s’ needs in ways that you both feel comfortable with. Generally when people look at you they look at your relationship status, its like the most important thing in a status. Just need to look decent, the rest is personality. Please keep in mind that the OP of this thread has chosen to mark this post with the [Serious] replies only tag, therefore any replies that are jokes, puns, off-topic, or are otherwise non-contributory will be removed. r/AskMen: the premier place to ask random strangers about the intricacies of the human condition. Digg. If you're in an unequal relationship, that won't ever matter because your partner will never be wrong. You need good chemistry and rapport and actually liking one another's personalities and trust and communication to build a good relationship, looks aren't directly involved in that process, they just are a prerequisite to it starting. Smell is one of them. They matter surprisingly little, considering looks are usually what first attracts you to a person. This is only slightly truer for men than for women — women are drawn to attractive men as much as men are drawn to attractive women. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Attention! So how important is one person's look to you? This is based on what league you're in. Communication: You and your partner can share your feelings, even when you don’t agree, in a way that makes the other person feel safe, heard, and not judged. There’s plenty of people I find super hot or adorable and overall attractive that others would really have no interest in. Good looks are important to being a candidate for a relationship. In this Hayley Quinn video, I'll tell you my answer to this ultimate dating question. They matter a huge amount. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. We're bound to argue sometimes and run into some major drama and conflict. My point here isn’t to say that you need to look good to get girls. That's what I care about. I know that the average age in this sub is very young, but even given that, there is a ridiculous frequency with which commentors are confusing "looks" and "sexual attraction". If she burned her face off tomorrow she would still be the same person. Sup guys, you can use my code "SSS30" to get 30% OFF (just $10!) If she burned her face off tomorrow she would still be the same person. Quite, but not the most important part. As mentioned, finding someone physically attractiveisn’t the only reason for sexual interest. I just think it's cool. It’s not only about the way they look. Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Inc. 117,632 views Plus, there is a metric for "Attractive" based on our own appearance, or perception there in. Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion! Attraction is vital in relationships but that doesn't mean that it's the most important thing or someone has to be conventionally attractive for you to love them. There's also taking care of yourself. The most important thing is mutual attraction, rather than her being a 10/10 fine as fuck dime. For me, it's just like a binary of whether I find the woman physically attractive or not. They don’t matter much, if at all, for women. Best analogy I've heard for this, thanks. Women apparently lied more than men, with the most common dishonesties being about looks. For hook ups, it's probably 75/25 physical attraction to mental attraction. ReddIt. I think looks are not everything, if you have feelings for that girl you should be with her, it doesnt matter if shes not the pretties girl out there. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. What other factors do you think are the foundations of a successful relationship? I don't date unattractive girls, but I'm not dating any dummies either. What would you do at that point? And I mean that genuinely. in the end, she dumped me. Grooming and manners and keeping up a healthy body. That's what I care about. After all, we bring our own emotional baggage when we enter a new relationship, and our partner does the exact same thing. Unfortunately, this is not always what ensues even by people with good intentions. Most people will (or should) look beyond that when deciding to initia… LINE. I promise this is important. Looks fade, personality is situational at best, look at your prospective mate’s behavior in various situations. I believe that any girl can become the most beautiful girl to anyone over time, once you know them more and more. So looks matter only in the initial phases of a relationship, but as it progresses, other factors come into play. Being the giver in a codependent relationship can also satisfy needs such as the need to matter to someone, the need to feel competent, the need to feel close to someone,” she says. Just don't be an asshole about it. Its been scientifically proven that couples who do not like each other's smell/body smell (pheromones play a role here and its mostly a sub-conscious stimulant) are more likely to end their relationship. I think there has to be some level of physical attraction, but having a good personality and intelligence is most important. I guess this can be a little shallow. Intelligence. Generally, good-looking people date other good-looking people, and unattractive people date others in their own “league.” Neither looks nor personality matter much at all in terms of the life-time partnerships/ marriage. If she isn't pretty enough to make babies with or bang, she's not going to register on my radar to date. It has to be a good balance between both. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. Good looks are important to being a candidate for a relationship. If you asked me Do looks matter in a relationship, I would Say attraction is a heuristic, not an algorithm; everyone has their own recipe of what is beautiful and what’s sublime, but assign different weights for each of the categories! First and foremost comes personality, so long as you're above a certain attractiveness threshold. They matter surprisingly little, considering looks are usually what first attracts you to a person. Telegram. This week, we talk about that age old debate. I think a better phrase would be "looks don't matter as long as you're attracted to them" or "looks don't matter if they have an unattractive personality." For me it's not so much a matter of degrees of hotness or cuteness or beauty, just whether or not I find them attractive (at least when it comes to me being romantically interested). Being attracted to someone sexually happens for a variety of reasons. Looks matter, and sex is an important part of a healthy relationship. My top things in a girlfriend are usually (and not in any order), I need to be attracted to her, This both means physically & mentality. If you can't stand being seen with someone that you consider unattractive, then dating someone with looks that you don't approve of isn't necessarily much better than dating someone that's gorgeous but incompatible. It's not enough by itself but without it the car is not going anywhere. Looks don't matter as much as attraction. Physical attraction is a good starter, I have to be attracted obviously, and no amount of passion, or intelligence is going to cure ugly (sadly) and that is true of everyone. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. I agree that looks should not matter, and a person’s character should be measured by what they do, not what they look like. Everyone wants to be with someone they are attracted to but I don't love my wife because she's cute. Well, to put it nicely, no. It's the first thing that men see before they put any effort into a potential relationship.